Another weekend spent in the family van! I have yet to come up with a good name for the big van, which unfortunately broke down an hour outside of Taphan hin on our way to Chiang Mai, so we took the other family van (there are a lot of vehicles...) after a good hour and a half at the Toyota dealership in Pichit. The car delearships are really nice here-maybe suggesting car trouble is a common occurence(?)-but they always have a computer, nice comfy seats and of course since its Thailand, a little woman who serves you tea and coffee. Not too shabby. I was happily submerged in a cheesey romantic novel and very entertained.
The new van also came with a new driver (complete with very Tom Cruise-esque sunglasses). After the weekend I am so happy that I spent a night on Khao Kho-the mountain that gives you another year to live-because after being in the car with this man, I lost at least one year of my life and I'm just hoping to come out even. Driving in Cairo, Egypt had been, until now, the most terrifying driving experience of my life. Lanes do not exist in Cairo. Traffic police? Very funny-they are all busy extracting bribes. But driving with this man-this was different. I am not a video game expert, but I've done my fair share of arcade games where you drive a car on a race track, or through a city and watching the road from our van was very similar to this. As we are zipping by the other cars, weaving in and out of the lanes (at one ponit, he squeezed the van in between a bus and a small car. It was a two lane road), we are passing tractors, motorcycles, cars, bicyles, cows-you name it. Given the differing speeds of all of these random vehicles (and animals!) on the road, passing is an absolute must-which is usually ok. This man however either really had to use the Hong Nam (toilet) the entire time, had ADD, or something...because we were constantly on the shoulder, on the median-or even just zooming ahead on the wrong side of the road. I wish I had filmed it. Once, we were trying to pass a small truck so we changed over into the other lane (where oncoming traffice was coming) and couldn't get back over in time so we had to use the shoulder of the wrong side of the road and even skidded through some grass. All of this doesn't seem to phase my host father. I might try to sedate myself for the next road trip.
After another long day in the car, we finally arrived in Chiang Mai, where we picked up my host brother, Teng, who is studying medicine in the university in Chiang Mai, and 7 of his friends at the local mall. It seems ubiquitous that teenagers hang out at malls, some sort of universal rule. We all piled into the family van and went to dinner at a local Thai restaurant. It was SO delicious! I especially liked the fried fish skin (sounds weird...I know) and the papaya salad. I was all proud of myself and I kept joking about how I was "becoming Thai" and could eat all of the spicy food until I came to face to face with what I thougth was fruit salad. Oh how I was mistaken. What looked like a delicious fresh fruit salad actually turned out to be fruit, with a chili lime sauce that was so spicy I felt like one of those cartoon characters-red in the face and steam coming out of my ears. I literally cried and I think I cleared out my sinuses for the rest of my life.
After dinner, we ended up at the night bazaar in Chiang Mai. Modeled after a real Thai night market, this has been morphed into the ultra-tourist trap. There was even a Starbucks-a universal sign that there will be white people nearby. All of the little vendors had all of the same touristy junk you can buy everywhere with jacked up prices-fake purses, fake watches, fake dvds, "traditional" Thai clothes, t-shirts with obsene sayings-very predictable. I was a little nauseated by the whole thing-way too many white people. I am so used to being the only "falang" in Taphan hin that when I see other white people I just look at them like "excuse me what are YOU doing here?". I did have a good time bargaining with this aggressive little old Thai lady and bought two nice pillow covers for my future apartment. The whole bargaining process is often daunting to outsiders, but it really is to be enjoyed if conducted properly. I would liken it to a dance or skit, where everyone has a role. I try to take lessons from my father-the ultimate entertainment bargainer. We STILL have t-shirts and sunglasses chains from his time spent on the beach in Bali over 10 years ago where he would bargain and buy everything the vendors had-literally. It's always better to buy in bulk says Barry-probably why he enjoys Costco so much :) (hi dad!).
My advice to amateur bargainers: Never act interested. Even if you see something you love and just have to have (which is questionable-do you really need eight small hand-carved elephants? The 5 fat, happy Buddha statues? alas I regress...) act like it is just "so so" and mediocre. Say you are "maybe" interested in something, and ask for their best price. After they quote you a price (which will, without fail be triple or quadruple what it cost to make it-) act offended. Act like they just kicked your dog, or back-handed your first born child. Oh the horror! It's all part of the game. Suggest half of the original price, or less. They too will play their part and act as if you have also just slapped their first born child-the better the drama, the better the whole charade. They will probably tell you it was hand-made, and point to some intricate details. Right-that's why all 200 vendors in the market have the exact same thing-lies lies lies. Some back and forth of this can continue-until! The crucial element-you walk away. Throw your hands up, say it is just TOO expensive (hey, $3 is a coffee at Starbucks) and walk away shaking your head. If they are serious-they will follow you, call after you or grab you (as the little old Thai lady did to me), draw you back into their store, and as if they were giving you top secret information pertinent to national security and terrorism and all that good stuff, tell you that, for YOU, for their friend-they will give you a discount-but only you! This is when you will get a good price. You can sigh, drag your feet a bit, but you will end up with a good deal. It takes a little creativity and acting-but if done properly, you can acquire all of the touristy junk you so desire, at a great price :)
$7 dollars and 2 really cute pillow covers later, we left the night market and got back in the van. We started driving (to where, we never know, as usual) and my host father said we were going to my host mother's house. No questions asked from the sleepy volunteers. After a very confusing phone call in which my host mother said something about a hot spring and a bath, and a 45 minute drive down windy, twisty roads where I was pretty sure death was imminent, we ended up at a resort by a hot spring! I love always being surprised. Turns out my host mom had been at a pharmacy conference and was staying outside Chiang Mai with the people she went to school with. We met everyone all at once, and due to copious amounts of green tea and whiskey they had obviously consumed, everyone was VERY friendly. So friendly that they erupted in laughter at everything we said. When we said we teach Grades 11 and 12-hilarity. Whatever floats their boat. We politely backed away slowly and let the party continue.
The next morning we took a bike ride through the country to see the hot spring. I am a converted early riser in Thailand. Everything so fresh and cool in the morning, it was absolutely gorgeous to see the sun rise. We ate breakfast with the ever so slightly hungover pharmacists, and were on our way. I was so excited to see the ancient city of Chiang Mai. There are tons of old temples and ruins from centuries ago that are world famous. I had my camera all ready and was pumped to go...
1 hour later and about 50 stops to ask for directions, we ended up at the information center. I assumed that we were going to stop in, get a brochure, and head on to the city. We got back in the car, and after 15 minutes my host mom giggled and said we were lost and couldn't find the ancient city, so we were on our way back to Taphanhin. Ohhh. So I can't show anyone actual pictures of all of these famous sites or describe them-but I do have a poorly translated informational brochure. Ehhh, what can ya do. I did get a diet coke at the info center-another great perk of tourist traps-Diet coke! It was my first since arriving-can you even believe it? I'll mark it up to a wash.
7 long hours later, and ALL three of the "Back to the Future" movies later (I had never seen them before actually! Less than impressed, although I guess the young Michael J. Fox is cute), we were back home.
We have our first complete week of teaching this week, so I hope it goes well! Monday is an easy day for me-only 3 classes. Hilarious moment of the day: So Crystal and I have been successfully hiding from Tessani (the teacher we went to English camp with), but today she caught up with us as we were getting ice cream from the little stand at school. Crystal's stomach was a little iffy during English camp and mostly the food was pretty gross. Refusing food is a complete no-no, so when she said her stomach wasn't feeling well, Tessani asked "constipation?! diarrhea?" and Crystal agreed to the latter just to make it easier. So today, more than a week after English camp, Tessani comes up to us at the ice cream stand and the first words out of her mouth are "Crystal, how is your constipation?". Crystal literally burst out laughing and I just stared with my mouth open. No hello, no how was your weekend-constipation. I'm sure she was just trying to be nice...but really? Does one always ask a relative stranger about their bowel movements as a greeting?
More stories after a week of attempting to teach the different between "R" and "L". I am not trying to be rude, but they really do say "flied lice"-it is not their faults, they have been taught the wrong way (Grrrrrrr) their entire lives. My mission of the week is to change this-when I made my students say "rrrrrrrrrr!" and growl like dogs this morning, it went surprisingly well. Fingers crossed...
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